Phew been awhile since i updated my blog here hehe , been jobless for ard 2-3 mths now , tats nt the main prob i guess. Now the main prob is , recently l've contacted back char bo..... at first i tot i have covered my feelings for her already , (coz during that time when she was with zhihao izt inpropriate for me to jus bash in , even though i had a hunch that she knew i had feelings for her) but now she's single again , and she's still e same old char bo i knew back den (at least for her temper) but thats not the only thing i found out =\ i found out that i still like her , izt not a crush... i really like her , (not l'm not despo jus becoz i;ve been single for the past 8-9 yrs =\) everytime when i don see her(since we contacted back) i will start to feel uneasy and stuffs etc , but when i'm on the fone/or in person , i lost speech/words *sign* should i tell her how i feel towards her?? Wad if she said she's not rdy for another relationship... or mayb she will reply me she already has found her special "someone"???? Manz wad shld i do..... she's beside me now... l'm really at a loss of wad to do , l've ince told myself not to be like this again since the sarah incident has passed , but.. l'm really scared , scared of her reactio if i told her my true feelings , how i feel towards her...... l'm really tired , tired of faking to be jus a normal close fren , tired of hidding all my emotions towards her.... damm i feel like crying now...
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Friday, October 12, 2007
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Thursday, August 23, 2007
Hmmm , how many days have i not updated my blog??? hmmmm no idea haha =P but anyways , been feeling quite down these few days , played 3 days mahjong recently and lost 3 days recently , wonder wads with my luck zzzzz and l'm arent in a very good relation with my mom now , thats more zzzzzzz
Jus contacted back Huibing aka char bo , well.... i used to have feelings for her back awhile ago , it took some time for that feeling to calm down and finally i made it , but most importantly l'm wondering shld i be back a good fren to her or shld i actually tell her "i still like u , but i'm afraid u might not like me"... WTF?? wad am i talking zzzzz...... i sounded like some despo in need of a GF now zzzz (to those who knoes me)
K l'm seriously like an idiot speaking to my blog (which is = to speaking to myself) instead of finding someone to talk to zzzzzzz think l'll end this maddness here bahz , donno when l'll log in to talk abt it again haha!
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Thursday, August 23, 2007
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Been awhile ever since i've been leaving my blog danging in mid air nt updating it (laughs) felt like updating so i guess l'll jus type in a few nonsense (lol), when things on the surface are like kinda good for me , but in reailty , it aint going so well. Me , Nigel and Law Bah seemed to be in good shape now , been going out giving pamflets for the past 4-5 days (or lesser =X) haha , but end of the day at least someone called back , well at least our hard work paid off (even though we have no idea why it landed up in a condo we nv even went there before LOL). As usual , my love life sucks , been trying to go after a gal whois like 3 yrs older den me , didnt even have the chance to ask her out alone =\ , i guess tats my life , anyway l'm concentrating on my career rather den my life now.I seriously hope this company (N3services oops i totally forgot to mention abt the company name haha >.<) grows and fast , coz i wanna make it big as l've been slacking for almost 20 yrs of my life time for a buck up move , YEAH! Ok enuff crap le , time to sleep and contiune with the job tml , no more giving out of pamflets but tml the equipments will be arriving , more and more training to do =\ kakaka nitez.... to myself........Labels: Tired and lonely.....
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Tuesday, April 24, 2007
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sheeze... been a long time since i updated , been kinda giving a heck care attiude towards my friendster and blog (lol) but who cares anyway , sad for me is my main com is down =\ but i cant actually do anything now due to e fact tat i have bascially 0 dollar left in my wallet plus my bank acc... (goddamm it =\) *signs* wad to do??? l'm nt actuallt considered jobless now though.... well nt totally~ izt jus tat i don really like to my currently so called part time as a smasung sales promoter ... BORING , and things jus doesnt stop here for my unluckiness , jus had a minor confliction with 1 of our so called fren ~ coz we cant really stand his way of treating everything for granted .... , guess today will be a boring day mayb..... zzzz ahhh but at least theres a good thing... got myself a new phone =DDDD keke izt a 0 dollar phone though but it fits all my needs =DDDD gonna play around with my new toy for awhile hehehe ... ok time to slack =D see if i can catch up with my blog toinight hehe
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Sunday, August 20, 2006
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YAY~ finally i found a job keke izt a 1.1k pay job at AMK timing is 8 hrs shift hmm not bad sia =p hope i can work enuff to pay for my sch fees and save up for a very 'special' thing xD the best is l'm working with 1 of my fren hehe ~ kinda like a dream come thur or kinda xin fu for others whom might say xD keke kinda excited abt tml ~ but my windows been kinda acting funny these few days~ i got no idea y but it jus seems to be giving me more and more error , =\ hmmm mayb izt time i do a total maintaince le bahz =P . Well tats all for today~ l'll go to bed early , starting work tml =P yea~ kekeke
-Happy and excited-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Friday, March 03, 2006
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Yea.. l'm down with flu again~ Wonder y every nite B4 bed time l'm down with flu arghhhzzz worse thing that can happene to me *AH CHU!* (rubs nose) nth much happened to me though today~ but it was a fun filled night yesterday~ i went down to yishun and had dinner with Yongrong , Zebra , Alan , Ricky(Holydemon) they're channel #Fantaxy's work staff (so-called) keke we talked abt a lot of things , all e way frm 7 plus till 10 plus pm lol~ i had no idea y we were so full of saliva tat particular night haha~ didnt get to take any pics if not it'll be even more fun~ arghhzzz i really cannot take it~ better pop 2 panadol extra and get to bed , waking up early tml~ zzzzz Oyasumi~~~~
-snores..... *ah chu* .... snores....-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Thursday, March 02, 2006
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Weeee after spending a whole day figuring out the Html codings (ok l'm lousy at html ok? =\) finally i got this skin up and running phew almost plugged out all my hair while trying to figure out how to do it =\ It kinda suits my personality bahz this theme keke black and black. l'm still wondering shld i remove the Tagboard as not many ppl might be using it bahz well , lets see for a few days , today's been quite a fun day for me though~ i woke up 11 in da morning becoz Sarah wanted me to wake her up ard 10.30am , to go for job hunting and interviews~ but she eventually slept till 4 pm =\ as usual ~ keke xD things have been normal for me these few days , l'm happy abt it and l'm not gonna take it for granted though. I do have 1 more wish~ in my heart tat is , to find a job and stable down my life ~ been damm happy in channel #Fantaxy , they're a nice bunch of ppl but with lots of lov/bgr problems , i understand though ~ who doesnt have problems rite? Izt jus how we handle the situation i guess~ more or less i like this bunch of Djs , even though our age limit is ard 2 yrs +/- but age doesnt matter as long as we click =P , all this typing makes me sleepy ~ guess l'll go to dreamland le~~~~ Oyasumi to myself =D
-Sense of achivement for myself kekeke xD-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Tuesday, February 28, 2006
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Sunday, February 26, 2006
Been quite an interesting day for me , went to a BBQ at Marina South with a grp of online Djs from channel #Fantaxy @ Galaxynet. It was enjoyable lol~ lame talks and suan xiaos (laming each other) but the food kinda sucked though~ even though there were a lot of varieties =\ we went for a game of pool as well and called it a day~ tats wad i though but a friend of mine Aaron rang me up and asked me to help him with his newely affixed cpu , after which i gradually get to knoe tat he had moved over to Toa Payoh. WOOO , another fren who lives nearby =P SUpper Kai Ki kakakaa ~ we talked a lot abt back e days while we were working at @corner hehe those were the days~ =D after he left i contiuned with a few games of Dota while listening to Fantaxy Radion ~ a Online radio network streaming using shoutcast and PoPcast(i tink) which actually brings me back to the thinking - i wanted to try being a DJ though always nv had e chance ~ =\ come to think of it , i never had much of chances with anything in my life though xD. Finally i chatted with 'someone' on msn abt the Tammy issue which has been FLOODING the media worldwide , i guess i better not comment anything abt tat issue , don wanan get myself into any law suits xD , guess l'll go orh~ orh~ le hope i can wake up and see something new bahz......
- Mood fairly good but down with flu =\ -
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Sunday, February 26, 2006
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Friday, February 24, 2006
Havent been updating my blog recently keke too lazy to do it sometimes but yea~ here i am again , in front of my com typing and typing and typing and typing xD , went for a job hunting yesterday and zzzzzzz didnt get a job ~ am i so unlucky? Or am i so ..... haix , but anyways izt fun having 2 coms at home ~ but izt kinda boring for 1 person to control 2 coms ~_~ how i wish i had a companion or something , at least i wont be THAT bored ~_~. Raymond asked me to go for a 5v5 dota match with his cousin's (Karl) frens today~ i wanted to go ~ but my pocket doesnt really allow me i suppose manzzz ~ been auctioning my Sega Saturn on HWZ and my spoiled LCD monitor *wonder who wans it* hope i can get some cash ~ recently heard a Good news manz =D in March we'll be getting ERS again , YEA ERS! WoooWOO but this time rd it isn't called ERS , izt called something else which i can't even figure out what that means lol , e amt we're getting is supposed to be 800 Sgd , well i donno whether e news is reliable or not but so far l'm still waiting for further notices frm e media =D Yea~ at last something to brighten my life Kakaka. L'm supposed to go down to a interview ard Tanjiong Pagar today with a fren of mine~ but well... she didnt really had a gd sleep yesterday , and her mood was like (.....) so izt better for her to rest today manz ~ jobs can be hunted some other day~ hope she's having a better mood today =D . Now ~ the final and most impt question~ shld i or shld i not go to e LAN match today ???? *scratches head*........
-Thinking hard and scratching head-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Friday, February 24, 2006
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Phew~ after a whole day of hard work of carrying the old table and cleaning up my room and vacuming my room~ Ta ta!!! my 2 coms are now side by side =D kekeke , i have e sudden gush of weird happiness lolx. Installed a few programs on my new 'mate' (Wc3 , Daemon tools , Wc3 bot keke and a few media codecs) and recently l'm back to WoW playing (World Of WarCraft) private svrs though keke not e offical 1 i aint tat rich xD if any of u guys/gers interested drop me a msg yea =P l'll tell u more abt the details. Man am i beat , but i do feel contented though or rather a sense of achivement that i can actually move a freaking large table out and move a feaking computer table into my room ~ though i still need to touchup on my room layouts but hehe~ tat can wait xD rite now i jus wanna enjoy my moments with my beloved 'Wife' (My 1st cpu) and my new babe~ the latest addition to my family =D. Sarah asked me to go job hunting with her tml~ and i aint left with much cash in my pocket~ zzzz save me someone~ zzzzzzz , Anyway l'll take a small nap and wait for a 10 or 50 dollar note to be popped into my wallet (fat hope! =\) , so until den~ *Snores and peeps* -Tired but filled with sense of achivement-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Monday, February 20, 2006
*Ah Chu* yea .. i'm down with flu~ manz but tat didnt stop me frm being happy abt my new com that came though xD , keke this little Monster here isnt really tat gd compared to my older p4 3.0GHz Cpu. Jus unpacked her frm her packaging yesterday while helping out with Raymond's uncle com. He kept complaining the mobo's dead , Vga card haywired etc , but when they came to my place and fix up everything for testing , all when well (?) no idea oso but anyway at least the problem is solved =P . Raymond's Cousin , Karl , didnt wanted to leave though lol~ as he was too engrossed in playing Wc3 - Defend of the Ancients (Dota for short) and he kept insisting installing a copy of Wc3 n Tft into his Computer since izt at my home now lol~ but time doesnt allow him to do so~ sry Karl xD as His mom kept asking Raymonf to send him back home due to e fact he has school e very next day hahaz. Now comes e prob with the placing of my com , sheeze , izt beside me now yes but i can't move a whole load of stuff + 1 table alone... asked Raymong for help~ didnt really think he would rem though..... zzzzzzzzzz been wanting to contact back 1 of my IT expert fren but seems he's much more busy den me (well come to think of it , I AM doing nth now lol) hope he contacts me back soon kekeke lots to catch up with him~ guess i better start packing my table and make space for my new 'family' xD , so.... Laterz
-Down with flu but happy with the arrvial of new com-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Monday, February 20, 2006
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Friday, February 17, 2006
Yesss~ my new com's coming tml wootz ~ xD been out these few days so kinda not free to update my blog ~ been out on job hunting but sheeze ended up in enjoying myself again haha. L'm really too slacked off i tink , but at least my mood these few days has been quite ok , at least no more swings frm now on. Only theres someting tats troubling me though~ something which has to do with decisions , ..... sometimes izt kinda hard being alive ~ u'll jus suffer and suffer and suffer , well at least for me =\ l'm trying to be myself and know myself but my life is jus filled up with roads being blocked in front of me ~ sheeze when can i really have peace lol~. Enuff of those stupid stuff , back to my com topic =D tml's kinda a big day for me YEA! another com . side by side kekeke now i can ask some of my frens over for a sorta 'lan' gaming gathering kakakaka can't wait till tml , but until den xD -Happy ^^-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Friday, February 17, 2006
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Monday, February 13, 2006
Jus came back frm a chilling out session with Sarah and Ranseur ~ well not really much of chill but e atmosphere was like quite dull. Mayb Sarah's on her mood swing i guess , but nontheless she didnt really show any signs of it , which is gd keke. my new com is Coming!!!! Yea! The one i got free from starhub , finally after like erm.. 1 mth of waiting? =\ man they are slow , but still l'm happy ~ 1 more new 'toy' to play with kekeke , now l'm having headache where shld i place my new com sia ~ beside me? In da living room? Zzzzz i donno , if i place beside me , my power sockets are kinda cramped up already , but if izt in da living room , kinda beats e purpose of having 2 coms yea? =\ arghhhhz someone teach me/give me a solution zzzz but i am looking forward to it though , keke coz now if my frens come over to stay we're be able to game together =P at least tats something i am contented with =p. Sheeze l'm bored , tml's Valentine's Day , and l'm SINGLE!!! zzzzz Goddness of love , have u forsaken thou? At least let me have a date or something , zzzz seeing couples makes me envious and jealous sometimes zzzzz haizzzzz.............
-Happy abt my new com , sad abt V.Day-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Monday, February 13, 2006
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Sunday, February 12, 2006
Zzzz jus lost been owned in a game of Anime fight in Wc3 zzz feels like hell kinda shitty now ~ dammz donno y i can jus mood swing becoz of a game ~ i gotta change this attiude or else l'll be back e same me again =\ zzzz went to the mind cafe today @ parklane beside Headquarters , with Raymond , Nigel , law bah , Eve , eleen and her 2 frens. QUite fun though .... Arghhhz l'm feeling damm funny now , Hungry ~ angry ~ mood is swining ~ wtf manz. Izt like l'm going mad and insane , guess my PMS is here again~ God if u can hear me , HEAL me zzzz >.< at this pt of my life , i feel confused and funny , i donno wad to do i can't understand myself. Was i deciving myself frm e past or am i jus being myself now? Damm i feel terrible zzzz It doesnt feel like i'm pissed , not a 100% mood swing either ~ wads happening to me arghhhzzz , i really can't be alone i guess l'll lose it. Bored? not, Tired? Not. arghhhzzzz , guess l'll jus carry on with my game/watch an anime later , can't get myself to sleep even zzz l'm really losing it............
-Confused/PMS/mood swing-
Jason [ゼイサン] Zeisan was alone Sunday, February 12, 2006
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